Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A "Life" Post

Alright, so this is totally lame, but I'm going to vent for a second because I spent most of the day thinking that everything that I do or say is somehow wrong. Of course, in thinking about this, I was quite the unproductive research analyst. I managed to get a few things done, but everything took so much longer because I was distracted. I don't know what's going on. I mean, one minute I think I have everything under control; the next, I'm second-guessing. And, all of this just seemed to start today -- maybe because I was tired, maybe because the reality of the GRE is starting to hit me, maybe because I'm worried about relationships (the non-existent romantic one and those with friends and coworkers). I don't think I've done anything wrong, but I just feel like I am not doing a damn thing right.

It's difficult to explain.

So, I won't. At least not here...

You know? I think the moral of the story is that anxiety is starting to rear its ugly head and causing me to over-think every detail of my life. To some extent, it's healthy to want to know exactly what your supposed to do in your lifetime and know exactly how to accomplish your goals. To another extent, it's completely crazy to obsess over every little detail. Somehow -- with hard work and that inexplicable magic that seems to nudge people in the right direction -- things work out.

I also may need a vacation.

This will all look very silly in the morning.

Thank God for being healthy enough to run. Seriously. I couldn't wait to get out there today and have some time to clear my head.

I'll be okay. I think it's time for a little self-reflection.

1 comment:

  1. BREATHE. mommy, you're going to be just fine! you have an amazing job, you have a great circle of friends in DC (and i'm jealous), you are healthy enough to run 26 miles (you WILL do it, and you've already come so far in such a short amount of time!), you're going to kick ass in whatever you want to do.

    the end.